CUTC Accident Reports
AREA - Scarborough Head, Banks Peninsular
Date: 12th March 1995
Deceased: Hillman Avenger, Green
Activity: Ascending a hill in second gear
Summary:
Originally going to Mt Richardson but put off due to fire, then
moved on to Mt Oxford but extreme weather meant a new destination
of Godley's Head. Thus with six occupants the deceased did progress
toward the destination. Whilst changing gear between second and
first the engine suddenly died leaving the occupants heartbroken
and stranded. Two AA paramedics were called and at approximately
6:23pm the patient was pronounced dead. A hearse was called and
it was transported back to 89 Creyke Rd where respects can still
be paid.
Cause of Death:
Myocardialinfarction while under extreme stress.
AREA - Sheffield, Bexley Area
Date: 12th February 1995
Parties involved: Cindy's Car
Activity: High speed stunt drive
Summary:
Similar route to the above accident. Whilst rounding the a sharp
S bend, the car successfully completed 410 degree turn and remained
on the road. All parties escaped without injury bar excessive
hilarity.
Cause of Incident:
Bored Car.
AREA - North-West Nelson State Forest
Date: Easter Weekend
Victim: David Goldsburg
Activity: Descending a darkened tussocky hill with the odd
rock.
Summary:
Exact facts unknown, so I'll make some up. We do know that the
group in question were descending a slippery hill in the twilight
and David slipped, rolled and bumped his head. This resulted
in a bloody head and some of the group going out for help which
resulted in a helicopter ride. Overall, bar the unfortunate accident,
everyone is to be congratulated for a situation well handled.
AREA - Otira Slide
Date: 13th May
Victim: Michael Rait
Activity: Self-arresting on snow-craft one
Summary:
Tis a tale to be told full of blood and full of woe,
of pain and heart-ache as he stumbled forth, sprits low,
oh what fate…the last run of the day indeed.
All had been well on that fateful of days,
the sky was clear with only the slightest of haze,
oh what fate…the last run of the day indeed.
The trainees watched the trainers fumblings,
and tried to match
oh what fate…the last run of the day indeed.
But lurking beneath the snow was there,
a rock of evil intentions setting it's snare,
oh what fate…the last run of the day indeed.
Poor Michael came down with the greatest of ease,
and straight onto that rock fell one of his knees,
oh what fate…the last run of the day indeed.
He was trussed, strapped up and bandaged, as best as done,
then subjected to Pheobe's driving, second to none,
oh what fate…the last run of the day indeed.
AREA - Seaward Kaikouras
Date: 27th May
Victim: Colin Berry
Activity: Bush Bashing
Summary:
Following a downgrading on the trip, an attempt to forge a new
route was tried. This resulted in the victim somehow managing
to injure his ankle, but this was not the main event. Two of
the supposed fairer sex did descend on this poor defenceless male
with 'super stick-to-hairy-legs' tape and proceeded to 'help'
him. While the bandage was supposedly done with good intentions,
excessive loss of hair upon removal was still inevitable.
AREA - Mt Cook and Tekapo locality
Date: 3 April
Victims: White nondescript Sigma and a Startling blue Van
Activity: Struggling to get home through adverse conditions
Summary:
In a surprising fluke of nature, the electrical systems in two
of the vehicles both failed on the return journey. It just proves
that cars do have feelings and understandably don't like Christchurch.
They should have bought Datsuns. (from a completely un-biased
point of view)
AREA - Ball Pass, Mt Cook
Date: 3 April
Victim: Julian Murphy
Activity: Head banging to obnoxious music
Summary:
Just after completing a solo descent of the Caroline Face, he
attempted to pierce his ear in memory of the feat. Unfortunately
no-one told him that this was not done using a blunt rock the
size of a football, hence the bloody ear.
AREA - Otehake River
Date: 18th March
Victims: Lotsa peoples
Activity: Hot springing onto TV
Summary:
They had unfortunate luck to be caught on TV. Overnight they
were celebrities, hounded from that day forth, their lives no
longer their own. And from what you do cry, merely because they
were stuck up the Otehake for an extra day due to the excessive
rain that fell on Saturday night.
AREA - Mt Peel
Date: Unknown
Victim: An adorable Austin Princess
Activity: Not quite sure but doing nothing in particular has
been rumoured.
Summary:
Although reports are sketchy, the authorities have learned that
yet another car has met with an unfortunate demise whilst participating
on a CUTC run trip. The exact injury is unknown but photographic
evidence (see CUTC Peoples) indicates part of the front left suspension.
The clubs operating conditions for automobiles is to be inspected
as harsh and unfair treatment is suspected.
AREA - South Westland
Date: 22nd October
Victim: An abused Torre
Activity: You really don't want to know
Summary:
Once again this poor pack has been subjected to yet more abuse.
It all began years ago when it was taken to the pack hospital
and had an insert forced into it. Since then, it has had sharp
implements, smelly fish and even vegetation shoved inside. But
this was the last straw, during a pack float down a river, it's
owner abandoned it into a vicious rapid and heartlessly watched
it go downstream. The poor wee pack managed to crawl out of the
river and onto a shingle bank with a broken back where it's owner
recovered it and ignoring the injury carried it away. gaiters
and water bottle
AREA - Mt Somers
Date: 1 October
Victim: Benjamin Franzmayr
Activity: Vomiting
Summary:
After driving most of the way the car suddenly stopped and out
went Benjamin and donated his breakfast to the land. Feeling much
better he drove on and we started climbing Mt Somers. After displaying
his vomiting ability a couple more times he was left under a fly
while the rest continued. After a couple of hours of dry retching
and drinking bloody awful raro, he was rescued by Sonya and was
OK on the back seat going home. Lesson learned: Don't eat suspiciously
slimy sausages left in the fridge...